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bingo fic: nothing in the past or future

I've been watching the health care debates, and I'm pretty sure they've voted on whether or not they're going to vote, like, three times, so I decided to write robot fic instead.

Written very, very quickly and with little regard for actual robot technology!

nothing in the past or future

PG
Mike/Kevin
1000 words
Bingo square: robots
Warnings for: extremely precious cyborg!Kevin

Mike was apparently the only person in the world who didn't realize that most popular tween idols are cyborgs. Bill just has a disturbing fascination with Disney, and Butcher and Siska have elaborate conspiracy theories, but apparently Mike has developed really impressive powers of not listening. He makes a face when Kevin looks over at him, after Bill's moved closer to inspect him for robotic parts, and Kevin widens his eyes and scoots towards Mike.

"I'm pretty sure," Siska says, "that he thinks you're his mother."



Mike is sleeping off a hangover when somebody starts knocking on his door and doesn't goddamn stop. He considers his options, which ends in him groping for his phone and texting William to tell him that he has a fucking key, he doesn't have to knock, because Bill is the only one would be at his house before noon that wouldn't have already given up. When Bill texts back: what are you talking about? crazypants, Mike makes a sad, pained noise and makes his way to the door without opening his eyes.

It's only after he opens his eyes and waits for the sun to stop being so bright that he realizes there's a Jonas Brother standing outside his door. Actually, to be fair, it's about five minutes after Mike has let him into his house and he introduces himself as, "Kevin, Kevin Jonas," in a voice that is way too cheerful to exist that Mike actually realizes he's a Jonas Brother. He's vaguely aware that it's not the Jonas that Bill once planned to steal, the little, scowly one. This one has ridiculous hair and white pants and won't stop smiling even though Mike has done nothing but stare blankly at him.

"Hello," Kevin says, for possibly the fourth time.

Mike says, "Hi," and Kevin makes a happy noise.

"I think I'm lost," Kevin says, like it's a really exciting thing, and Mike nods.



*


"He's a robot," Bill says, awe-struck, leaning up from the floor to poke Kevin in the chest, gingerly.

"That's sort of rude, man," Mike says, nursing a mug of coffee and sitting next to Kevin on the sofa, turned towards him. Kevin keeps shooting him glances, and Mike might say he looked panicky if he didn't have the same smile he'd been smiling for almost an hour. Bill pulls at a lock of Kevin's hair and coos.

"Technically," Butcher says, fingers steepled in front of him, "he's a cyborg."

"Part human," Siska murmurs, "part corporate Disney greed."

Mike was apparently the only person in the world who didn't realize that most popular tween idols are cyborgs. Bill just has a disturbing fascination with Disney, and Butcher and Siska have elaborate conspiracy theories, but apparently Mike has developed really impressive powers of not listening. He makes a face when Kevin looks over at him, after Bill's moved closer to inspect him for robotic parts, and Kevin widens his eyes and scoots towards Mike.

"I'm pretty sure," Siska says, "that he thinks you're his mother."

"I'm pretty sure," Mike says, "that I am not awake enough to deal with this shit."

"Go back to bed," Bill says, "I will take very good care of your robot pal."

Kevin actually looks worried at that. But it could also be Bill's hand on his knee.


*


It turns out that cyborgs have to power down at some point or they'll malfunction, which Kevin tells him about in great detail once Mike made everyone else leave, so he lets Kevin take his sofa and goes back to sleep. When he wakes again, Kevin is sitting up, hands in his lap, and he looks delighted when he sees Mike.

"Good morning!" he says.

"I think it's actually, like, six. At night," Mike says, but Kevin just smiles again until he sits next to him. They stay there for a few minutes before Mike asks, "Do you eat?" and Kevin says, "I can eat," and Mike decides that pizza would make this situation less awkward.


*


Two pizzas later, Kevin is sitting with his head resting against Mike's shoulder when Mike asks him, "How did you get lost, anyway?"

Kevin hums, says, "I don't know. Nick said I was programmed wrong, but I think he was just being mean."

"Why did he say that?" Mike asks. He kind of feels like a guidance counselor, only a really inappropriate guidance counselor, because Kevin is very warm against him, and he has very large hands that keep playing with the zipper on Mike's hoodie, and it's all making him have uncomfortable Feelings. Kevin looks up at him, and their faces brush, and Mike tries to hide his breath catching.

"People don't like me as much as my brothers," Kevin whispers, and Mike slides an arm around him because his voice has gone wavery and sad. He wonders if that's part of Kevin being wired wrong, getting sad. Kevin shifts closer, and he's taking these big gulps of air so Mike can feel them against his jaw.

"People suck, anyway," Mike says. "You shouldn't care."

"I'm supposed to care," Kevin says.

"You're probably supposed to not wander away and talk to strange men, either, but. . ." Mike says, and Kevin looks at him and doesn't smile until he realizes that Mike is grinning, almost laughing.

"Maybe I am disfunctional," Kevin says, but he doesn't sound that sad anymore. He's pulled away a little so he can actually meet Mike's eyes, and there's a long stretch of time where they don't move at all, and Mike is too aware of pale freckles over Kevin's nose, the hair falling in his eyes. He's not really surprised when they both move forward, but that doesn't make the kiss any less crazy. Kevin makes an interested noise, and Mike pulls back, says, "Do you want to do this?"

Kevin pauses, and Mike wonders if he's ever been asked that before.

When Kevin pushes up to catch his mouth, teeth dragging over his lower lip in an awkward, desperate motion, he's almost sure that he hasn't.


*


Later that night, Kevin is lying with his head on Mike's lap, wide awake but pretending not to be, when Mike gets a text from Bill that says: have u been invaded by disneybots? has anybody burst into inspirational song yet? i need answers.

Mike turns off his phone. He'll try to figure out what to do about Kevin in the morning.

Maybe.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
rsadelle
Mar. 21st, 2010 11:06 pm (UTC)
♥ x a million.
akire_yta
Mar. 21st, 2010 11:39 pm (UTC)
WIN, YOU ARE MADE OF IT!! I had no idea what ppl would do with a robot prompt. but this is AWESOME

(Disney greed! conspiracy theories! no-one ever asking Kevin what he wanted before! i dance in your honour now \o\ /o/ )
skoosiepants
Mar. 21st, 2010 11:54 pm (UTC)
awww, adorable!
neqs
Mar. 22nd, 2010 04:35 am (UTC)
Dude! I *crowed* when I saw this, and smiled ridiculously wide throughout. Fantastic!
starflowers
Mar. 22nd, 2010 06:14 am (UTC)
HURRAY! ROBOTS! The robot prompt totally freaked me out but this was amazing!
frankie_ann
Mar. 22nd, 2010 08:19 am (UTC)
Auuughhhh so adorrraaabbblleee. I had to stay up to read this. ^_^ I am very glad I did.
sin_fuego
Mar. 22nd, 2010 11:52 pm (UTC)
I would have never guessed robot!fic would make me feel so fuzzy on the inside :D Great job & thank you for sharing!
revelininsanity
Mar. 23rd, 2010 12:22 am (UTC)
I love sad!happy!robot stories. This was so sweet!
kiki_eng
Mar. 23rd, 2011 07:06 pm (UTC)
This is fantastic. ♥
hypertwink
Apr. 9th, 2011 08:02 am (UTC)
This was cute. I started laughing when I realized someone finally wrote cyborg!Jonas.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )